Disclaimer: Nicotine is bad. People under 18 mustn’t use nicotine, unless you live in New Jersey then you gotta be 19. Then again to gamble you gotta be 18 in Indian Casinos and 21 at Casinos so I guess I’m not talking to anyone who can’t use nicotine to begin with.

Sorry for the strange introduction, just trying to lighten up the mood a bit on such a “taboo” subject. Yes, nicotine is evil and if you use nicotine you should be prevented from working (in certain states you’ll be fired for failing a nicotine drug test) and you should be prevented from staying focused at the card table. A few years back a certain poker pro who will remain nameless got together with a few of his anti friends and decided to get smoking banned from the card room. Their reason was simple, they didn’t like the smoke in the room as it interfered with their game. Solution – ban smoking altogether from the card room. You can still smoke at the slots, blackjack tables, roulette wheel, and various other locations inside a casino, just not at the card table.

But does that really seem fair? Really? People who are clearly addicted to a substance such as nicotine need more than a break here or there throughout the tournament to get their fix otherwise they’ll be fiending more for tobacco than they’ll be focused on the cards at hand. This my friends is what I refer to as “unfair tilt.” It’s giving the antis an edge over the rest of us. And considering that poker is viewed by non poker players as a game for hooligans who lose their rent money at the tables, beat their wives and drink themselves silly shouldn’t poker players be more sympathetic towards their fellow poker player? Apparently not, but there is a solution!

The first solution, which is what the antis came up with is quit. Yes, just quit smoking. It’s not like it’s doing anything good for you anyways right? To them I say “A man of few vices is also of few virtues.” I refuse.

Our second solution is slightly similar. Use nicotine patches or chew nicotine gum while at the table. This may work for some but I have an even better solution that (in my opinion) is much better and much more realistic.

Switch to chewing tobacco while at the table. More than likely the other players at the table won’t like the idea of you having a spit cup at your spot (nor will the owners of the fine establishment that you’re sitting at) so if you’re new to chew it looks like you’re going to need to try some Camel Snus. This product is specifically advertised as no spitting required and is great for the smoker who currently can’t smoke due to illness or a dumb law preventing them from smoking while playing poker. Now let me caution you chewing can become a messy habit, thus the invention of pouches. Pouches are little sacks containing nicotine that gently cut into your lip to provide you with the goodness you’re seeking.

Yes this can be the solution you’ve been looking for to avoid “unfair tilt.” Switch to pouches while at the card table and you’ll never fiend for a cigarette during a tournament again.

Second disclaimer: The surgeon general states that nicotine is bad for you. It may kill you. But you already knew that anyway didn’t you?